21 things students do when they’re poor

Student loan day is the busiest time for the Student Union – we all love those cheap shots! – and even though three weeks later most of those students have spent their entire loan, these are the things all students do when they’re poor.

1. Daydream about the takeaways they no cannot afford

2. And regret spending all that money on that kebab

You had beans in the cupboard

3. You think back to your childhood

in an attempt to find happiness

4. To only remember the horrible home movies

5. And then you start to buy in bulk

Telling yourself you are saving money

6. When that fails you turn to mum and dad

And your sudden wave of attention you are giving them is suspicious

7. At one point you stop to contemplate your existence

8. Or try out a new hobby

To save money

9. Try and venture outside instead of going out

10. Maybe try to start a debate online

to distract you from your bills coming out next week

11. Maybe just flat out let it all out

And then call all your friends from home to tell them you love them

12. And ignore your new housemates

Because they are costing you too much money when you go out every week

13. Work out a new exercise regime

Instead of going to the gym

14. And find yourself getting angry and these type of people

15. Ignore all responsibilities you are meant to be in control of

and hope nobody finds out, but they will.

16. And then ask a higher power the important question

17. Start denying yourself everything

In an attempt to get that direct debit paid tomorrow

18. And realise that nobody cares that you are poor

19. Because everyone is poor at university

20. Look into claiming for compensation

Then finding out you have nothing to claim for

21. Briefly consider getting a loan

Then you realise you will just eat those beans in the cupboard. It's not that bad really.